As a Parent, you have a lot of responsibilities. There are many people in your life that you need to consider how they feel, but you must not forget, in particular as a woman, how important you are, and how imperative it is in getting your own needs met. Women who avoid their personal, intimate and sexual needs often start out as being irritable, then they move to disgust and anger, and eventually they go numb. They can spend many years forgetting that their body is in need of touch, and live life unfulfilled and with a huge void where pressures of their children, work, and their external family become more important. They then live in a reality where their intimate selves are completely pushed under the carpet and they don’t even know that they exist. Their bodies become armored, stiff, stuck in a cave hidden to their own passions; their own pleasures and most importantly forgetting their inner hearts and the love that is deep inside of them.
This then sets up a trap for her husband, her co-parent in action and they then move from lovers to perhaps best friends or business partners. They justify their lack of intimacy that their children are more important and “they really need us right now.” However, consider this: when you are unhappy, when your body is guarded, when you are not seen as a sexual beautiful woman or are not letting yourself be seen as a beautiful woman of pleasure, joy and power, your children will feel this. They will feel your suppression. They will feel your anger. They will feel your frustration, because most likely, you will put more energy into the children. You will react more to their behaviors and become more disciplinarian with them. And this then sets up another trap; your children avoiding you, or becoming distant from you; the one thing you truly did NOT want to happen.
Children who see their parents in love, sharing love, and experiencing love with each other grow up to view intimacy with others in a more natural healthy way. When children grow up viewing their parents; their direct most important and significant teachers, avoiding each other, giving each other the silent treatment or in other words not speaking about topics that are crucial to their relationship, to their sexual life and to their family, the children learn from this. They grow up thinking it is okay to keep secrets from people, that it is ok to avoid the people they love, that it is normal to not be close to the people they love, and this then sets them up for failure. They lose their self in this reality of what they believe to be true. They have no other role models that are more important than their parents. And when you want to be a good parent and a good teacher to your children, express your sexual self to your husband, your Beloved, your Lover and don’t make him your friend or business partner.
If you have young children, of course you want to express your full sexual desires in the bedroom AFTER your child is asleep, however your affections with each other after the fact bring long term affects, to each other and to your children. The love you bring to each other gets shared and spread out throughout your whole family. Everyone will feel it, and EVERYONE will benefit.