Do you ever find yourself upon waking feeling more aroused and ready to make love than your husband? Especially after he has spent countless hours giving healing to you, and you’re feeling great, but now he’s going through his own process. It’s amazing how loving and giving my Beloved is, after all those hours of giving me massage, reiki, loving touch, and even deep inner wound work, and when he goes through a period of dealing with his own stresses, he thinks “there’s something wrong with me!”, or “I’m just not good enough!” or “I can’t do this!”
“Oh, hunny,” I’m thinking, “You’re simply amazing. There’s nothing wrong with you! You’re just dealing with a lot of things on your mind.” So, I gently tell him, “Ohh love, I want you so bad, and you’re making yourself wrong.” And, all I did was try and take off my pants, and they got stuck while he was trying to move his firm shaft inside me. Perhaps a combination of impatience for the moment not to lose us, and making himself wrong. As an Intuitive, I felt his heart close ever so slightly, and I felt his self doubt, fear, and self judgment kick in.
We layed there for a while, to breathe in the reality that his firmness disappeared over something very silly, but in his mind very real. The mind is the ruler of our realities, and we’ve been having this discussion lately on how our thoughts create what life brings to us. Our chaotic minds, or our peaceful minds. Our inner joy, as well as our inner fears!
As a woman who has shifted from being guarded and shut off, out of fear from being left alone as a single mom for many years, to being involved with a loving man I now like to call my husband, I like to express my gratitude, as well as the ability to surrender to his process. I am now taking on a new role of leading him into surrender while being loving, supportive, and patient to his healing journey, and not making myself wrong, incapable of being loved, or in any way a bad person just because my Beloved has moments of not feeling good enough, sadness, or whatever it is going inside his mind. His process is his process, and my process is mine. And learning to separate oneself from the other, and not make what your partner feels a reflection on your own experience, and just let be what will be, is the key to evolving into the next phase of accepting yourself fully as you are, loving yourself fully as you are, and being true to you! You are you, and I am me, and we can still love each other through it all!
Women who are survivors of Child Abuse, Sexual Violations, Rapes, Relationship Abuse, eating disorders, or any sort of trauma need to be reassured that they are worthy, valuable, and just because they have a difficult past, doesn’t mean they have to continue to live in suffering, or struggle, and they can recover. They can heal! And women, can eventually become empowered, and thrive even through the most difficult obstacles!