Can he handle the role? Does he have the knowledge, training and ability to support you in your process? This is the greatest reward in any relationship where your man (or your woman) can support you in your process. It takes a very brave, powerful, strong, and emotionally mature man to handle supporting his woman to get clear in her own journey, her own process, her past, her grief, her own traumas, etc. Can your man handle the job? Is it too much for him? Your Man as Your Healer. What can you do to help support him to continue supporting you? Well, it takes two, and in the journey of recovery, transformation, grief work, integration work, inner child work, and healing abuse, one must be very skilled, but also find a way to heal himself so he can be less triggered by her journey. My Beloved likes to use the term, “trigger-less” and claims he is so, but not all the time!
For many many years, I worked in the field of being a single woman, having mainly male clients, and training them how to be loving, gentle, kind and compassionate towards a woman Sacred Sexual Healer, who had been raped, victimized, or in some way sexually been assaulted. Many many women have been sexually assaulted, and far too many that have been assaulted and don’t even consider that they have, but they have. And, it takes a very brave woman to heal from those assaults, and once she has healed from her violations, the next journey is often healing her inner core self, and clear the source of why they happened in the first place; often stemming from mom and dad.
Now that I have an amazing man in my life, and have integrated him into my entire world, I have been training him to be a Healer. There are some kinks to work out and some more Advanced Training to take, but he’s diving in head first, and by the grace of God, we are both being rewarded, and benefiting from the journey. It didn’t start out with this being the intention, and we had no idea we would fall in love, as these things happen organically and no one can control who they fall for, but now that we are here, after many many months of healing him, it is now my turn!
So, the journey of him supporting me is a new quest, and working on my own inner child is something I had not realized I hadn’t done before. As I have been working on my own journey of healing since about 1996, and it has been quite a long time. I had thought I only had one piece left, which was the missing piece of a beloved, but little did I know bringing that piece in would be another HUGE journey of growth and inside healing.
How do you know your man can handle the role of being your Healer? Well, he has to have some experience in healing himself, years of experience would be great (luckily mine has had over 30), but even 10 years would be fabulous! Anything less than that, I wouldn’t trust him to help you, and would best advise you to seek a therapist, or other trained professional. However, my guy has been in the role of being of service to others process for a long time, despite lacking the actual training as a Healer. That lack is being filled rather quickly, and the task now is honoring the process, honoring the parts of oneself that need to come out, and letting her speak, dance, write, paint, and play in whatever ways she chooses to! So, here’s to a new beginning of self love, loving another, and letting oneself be fully loved by a man who truly is capable of giving me the love I deserve! AHO!
As he continues supporting me, and I continue training him to help me, I will then be more able, willing and capable of helping all of you!